The Best Laid Plans
by cocoa-snape
Summary: Sequel to ‘Much Madness is Divinest Sense.’ Albus is determined to make amends for his previous subterfuge by whisking Severus away on a romantic holiday. Things do not go exactly as planned. ADSS, humor and fun, COMPLETE
1. Andrew returns

**Title: **The Best Laid Plans…  
**Author: **CocoaSnape  
**Disclaimer: **Alas, I do not own the HP universe; JK Rowling/Warner Bros does. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary: **This story picks up just days after its prequel, '_Much Madness is Divinest Sense_,' left off. Albus is determined to make amends for his previous subterfuge by whisking Severus away on a romantic holiday. Things do not go exactly as planned.

**Acknowledgements: **Profound thanks once again to my incomparable partner, M, for advice, support and everything in between. Hug of thanks also to Snape's Nightie her brit-picking expertise and for comments along the way.

**Notes:** This is a sequel to '_Much Madness is Divinest Sense._' I strongly recommend that you read it first. This story was written for the Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape Buggering Bee, part of the Snapledore Carnal Carnival, in response to the following challenge: _Our favorite couple takes a trip abroad (Challenge by Delphi). _This story ignores HBP-canon.

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**The Best Laid Plans…**  
by **CocoaSnape**

Albus Dumbledore could not have been a happier man. Less than one week ago he discovered that his long time Potions Master and friend, Severus Snape, shared the same romantic feelings for him that he had long harbored for the younger wizard. Perhaps 'discovered' was not the most appropriate word, Dumbledore mused – exposed by surreptitious means was more like it. But that deception was long behind him. So what if he had enlisted his own nephew to pose as his young lover in order to spin Severus into a jealous frenzy. It had turned out alright in the end. Everything was now in the open between them, and Dumbledore even seemed to surmise that Severus didn't, in the final synopsis, mind his mass deception all that much. In fact, if the past few days were any indication, Dumbledore smiled to himself, it hadn't mattered in the slightest.

Yes, Dumbledore had everything he wanted, except perhaps some more time alone with his new partner. They had barely left his quarters since they had tumbled into them half-naked five days ago, and yet interruptions seemed to find them. Such was the life of a Headmaster. And yet here it was two weeks into the summer break and six months after the defeat of Voldemort, and still Dumbledore struggled to find some respite. His faculty had apparently not received the owl that it was time for a long overdue holiday.

But Dumbledore knew also that he was himself partially to blame. His faculty was probably only trying to distract him from the young lover they believed had taken him hostage. They had no way of knowing the truth – that Andrew was long gone and had never been his lover to begin with. And they certainly did not suspect that he was actually hiding Severus in his quarters while they chatted endlessly about their latest research into novel wand movements, the watering requirements of various nettle plants, the weather's impact on one's Inner Eye, or Peeves's latest exploits.

Truth be told, things had become rather messy. Despite Dumbledore's exalted spirit of amusement, he knew he had exceeded the bounds of humor. He felt himself embarrassed and found the prospect of explaining everything to his faculty, from Andrew to Severus, more than a little daunting. The simple facts were that his nephew's ad-libbed obnoxious behavior had gone too far and he himself felt like a fool for having gone to such extremes to win Severus's heart. No, honesty would have been better, more forthright, less messy – even if, as Dumbledore faintly realized, it would have also been less seductive and far less fun. Dumbledore recognized that the time might come when he would be forced to confess everything. But as it wasn't now, he happily brushed the thought from his mind.

Instead, he turned his attentions to the idea of taking a holiday. He and Severus had in fact discussed the idea of going away almost immediately after getting together. Severus, remembering Albus's invitation from their first (and only) dinner out together in London, had enthusiastically suggested Australia. But Dumbledore, sure he had a much better idea, had talked him out of it.

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"Where did you have in mind?" Severus asked.

"I was thinking Paris…" Dumbledore replied.

"Oh." A pause. "Is Australia too far then?" _Too much of a commitment so soon?_ Severus wondered silently.

"Not at all."

"Then why not?" Snape asked.

"It's winter over there, Severus. Granted it's nothing like winter here, but I thought you'd fancy some warmer weather."

"I don't care about the temperature," Snape replied flatly.

"Well I was thinking we could visit Australia over the Christmas Holidays. We can warm up from the Hogwarts winter."

Dumbledore could tell he had begun to pique Severus's interest. He continued, "And I thought we might recreate our first dinner in London by taking in some fine dining in each arrondissement of Paris." Dumbledore smiled as he said, "And this time, I won't be so hesitant to take hold of your hand."

"Is that where your mind was that evening?" Snape asked curiously. "I did sense that you were rather preoccupied with something."

"Yes, well, there was that. But don't forget, Severus, that when I invited you to dinner your enthusiastic acceptance centered largely around London's excellent assortment of bat wings," Dumbledore answered in a playful sulk.

Severus chuckled and replied, "Ah yes, that was rather clever of me."

"More like exasperating," Dumbledore said with a smile.

A pause. "Paris, eh?" Snape repeated.

"Yes…Paris." Dumbledore eyed his lover a moment before continuing, "The truth is, Severus, for months now I've had this ridiculously romantic notion of sweeping you off your feet. And here instead of courting you properly, I acted a fool. I want to make it up to you, and what better place than the city of romance? And best of all," Dumbledore whispered seductively as he leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his lover's lips, "we can get lost in the crowd…away from floo calls and interruptions."

"Mmm," Severus murmured, returning Albus's kiss.

"It'll be romantic, Severus," Dumbledore insisted, unaware that he had already sold Severus on the idea.

"I'm holding you to that, Albus."

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The following morning, Albus awoke early while Severus was still sleeping soundly. Unaccustomed to company, Dumbledore forewent his typical routine. Normally, he would start the day with song, often singing the Hogwarts lyrics to whatever piece of music he fancied at the time. This morning, however, in deference to his sleeping companion, he cast a silencing charm around himself, got out of bed, and made his way down the staircase and into his office to check his mail. They would be leaving for Paris in two days, and although he was excited about finally getting some alone time with Severus, Dumbledore's mind was occupied with thoughts of the visitor that would be coming tomorrow. Andrew was returning, just as he had promised.

And Dumbledore was strangely excited by the prospect. After everything that had happened, he was looking forward to Severus meeting Andrew…the real Andrew. He knew they would hit it off. Like Severus, Andrew was intelligent and sharp-witted.

Just as Dumbledore was mulling over the best way to break the ice between them, an owl came through his owl door and landed on his desk. Taking hold of the small scroll, Dumbledore recognized his nephew's handwriting immediately. After reading the note, he made his way back to the bedroom to wake Severus.

Snape was not a man who enjoyed being awakened before he was ready. He grumbled as Albus shook him awake.

"Albus…tell me something's on fire."

"I'm sorry to wake you, Severus. But Andrew just owled. He's coming in an hour."

"What? I thought he was coming tomorrow."

"So did I. But he says he's double-booked himself. Which means we have to get dressed."

Severus sat straight up. "We agreed on tomorrow and he owls to say he's coming now. How is it that he's still managing to infuriate me?"

"He must have a good reason. You'll like him, Severus. You will."

"Hmm," Severus replied, as he staggered out of bed. "Well you say he's doing a Mastery. And he's related to you. So he can't be as dim-witted as he pretended."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Andrew is definitely not dim-witted. But unfortunately your reasoning is flawed Severus…if my other relatives are any indication."

"Oh Merlin, there are more of them?"

"Of course there are. All from my sister, Giarelda."

"So she's Andrew's great grandmother?" Severus asked, unsure if he had the whole family tree straight.

"Exactly. And then there's Andrew's mother and grandmother and great grandmother and all their children. It's a complete circus on that side. Fortunately, Aberforth never had any children. Speaking of Aberforth, the three of us should have dinner sometime. Although not at his place. It smells of—"

"Let me guess," Severus interrupted with a smirk on his face. "Goat."

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Andrew may have been wearing significantly more subdued clothing compared to the last time Snape had seen him, but the smile and fire in his eyes remained the same. He strode forward and offered his hand in greeting.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Severus."

"And you."

Andrew apologized for the lack of notice of his arrival, but gave no explanation.

The trio chatted as they ate a leisurely breakfast. Dumbledore could feel the tension emanating from Severus. He hoped it was just nerves from finally meeting Andrew, as opposed to discomfort or dislike. He tried to break the tension by asking Andrew what he had been up to this past week.

"First I went to Beauxbatons and visited with Professors Tardieuand Krulik. And then I met up with some friends and we spent a few evenings in Paris."

"Oh how nice," Dumbledore replied. "Severus and I are planning on going to Paris the day after tomorrow."

"Already?" Andrew asked, his voice betraying his disbelief.

"What do you mean, 'already'?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"It's nothing," Andrew said dismissively, but then added, "I just assumed you both would decide to take it slow and not rush things. Let the dust clear so to speak…"

Dumbledore could tell Severus was trying very hard not to look annoyed. He replied, "Severus and I aren't rushing anything, Andrew. We've been friends for nearly 18 years now."

"Of course, you're right." Andrew said amicably. "I didn't mean to imply…" he stopped. "I'm sure you'll have a good time."

The men sipped their freshly poured tea, and as Andrew raised his cup, a mischievous smile crossed his face as he asked his uncle, "No cappuccino, lemon cookie?"

Albus reflexively swallowed his tea to prevent spitting it out and began to laugh. A glance over at Severus's expression made Dumbledore cease his laughter. Severus did not look happy at the idea of reliving Andrew's play-personality.

"Sorry, Severus," Andrew began. "I couldn't resist. That week was more fun than I've had in ages. I quite enjoyed playing Uncle Albus's boy toy."

"Albus mentioned that you embellished slightly…"

"He was uncontrollable actually," Dumbledore added. "Weren't you, Andrew?"

"Ah yes, but it was so easy, how could I not go for broke? The looks on your face, Severus! They were priceless."

Albus noticed that Severus frowned slightly at that pronouncement.

"Of course," Andrew continued with a wink in Severus's direction, "you can't complain about the results now, can you?"

"No," Snape replied coldly. "I suppose I can't."

Dumbledore felt an icy chill run up his spine at the tone of Severus's voice. He knew exactly what was upsetting Severus, and, quite frankly, he was surprised that Andrew didn't realize how embarrassing that week had been for him. Dumbledore was all too well aware that Severus had endured enough humiliation already in his youth and beyond. Although Dumbledore knew Andrew was just being playful, it did not mean Severus wasn't sensitive to these comments.

Dumbledore did his best to smooth things over. "Fortunately, all that mess is over now so…"

But Andrew had already begun to speak to Severus again. "My only regret is that I wasn't there for your final confrontation with Uncle Albus."

"Oh?" Severus asked.

"Man did I ever wind you up!" Andrew said with a chuckle. "I told Uncle Albus over and over again that that's what it was going to take for you to finally break."

"Break?" Snape asked harshly.

"No, that's not what Andrew means to say…" Dumbledore began.

"Of course," Andrew said. "Severus, I meant…how long it was going to take for you to tell Uncle Albus how you felt about him. But you have to admit, I really pissed you off." Andrew smiled and said with a slight whisper, "I'll bet you enjoyed casting that vomiting charm on me."

At that, Snape smiled back. "You have no idea."

Andrew chuckled. "Nice choice, by the way. A little soft, especially coming from you, but nice."

"Soft?" Snape asked, trying to cover his insulted tone. "What do you suggest I should have done then?"

"Given how I baited you, I might have expected the Cruciatus from you," Andrew replied.

Before Dumbledore was even aware of it, Severus had shot up from his chair and was glaring menacingly at Andrew.

"Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater! Is that it?" he snapped.

Andrew's eyes went wide and he began frantically, "Severus, I didn't mean it like that…"

"Then pray tell…how did you mean it? You've just said you were expecting from me a curse that I would not wish on my greatest enemy! What the bloody hell am I supposed to make of that?"

Regaining his powers of speech, Dumbledore interrupted with a deceptively calm voice, "Severus, I'm sure that Andrew did not mean any offense."

"Severus…I swear to you that didn't mean it like that. You were just so enraged at me, I thought you were going to do something harsher – and rightly so! It was a bad example, but the Cruciatus was the first thing that popped into my mind. I meant no offense."

Snape did not reply.

Feeling not a little bit rattled, Dumbledore said, "See. This is all a big misunderstanding. Severus, please sit." Dumbledore reached for Severus's arm and pulled him down next to him on the couch. He could feel Severus positively trembling with rage.

Naturally, Dumbledore took the opportunity to refill everyone's tea and tried to change the subject, albeit badly. He began talking about the faculty and how they had been annoying him this past week. Dumbledore noticed that neither man was looking at the other.

"…Fortunately Minerva hasn't been here to bother me. She's getting back from her holiday late this evening."

Snape spoke suddenly, directing his words to Andrew, "What Albus is saying is that he hasn't yet told his faculty about the little ruse the two of you cooked up. And since he doesn't want to be humiliated, he'd like it very much if you could leave before Minerva gets back."

"That wasn't what I was saying, Severus," Dumbledore reassured gently. Oh this was a disaster. Now Severus was angry with him too!

"Intimating then," Snape grumbled.

Dumbledore started to speak, but Andrew interjected, "Don't worry, Uncle. I'll be gone. I have no desire to run into Minerva again."

"Again?"

Andrew hesitated for a moment. Dumbledore could plainly see that his nephew suddenly appeared troubled. But he said replied dismissively, "It's nothing. I'll firecall you after your holiday."

"Andrew, what are you not telling me?"

Andrew looked over at Severus and then back at Dumbledore. With a great deal of discomfort, he began, "Perhaps we should speak about this…later."

Severus caught Andrew's meaning immediately and with a hardened look on his face and a growl under his breath, he made to leave. Dumbledore placed a hand on Severus and said softly, "Severus, don't go. Please." Then turning his attention to his nephew, Albus said firmly, "Andrew, whatever it is, you can talk to me in front of Severus."

"Alright." Andrew sighed deeply before beginning. "It has to do with our game last week. I think it might have gone a bit too far in some areas…"

"You think?" Snape snapped.

"It was all in good fun, Severus. I thought you'd be able to take a joke," Andrew said with growing irritation of his own.

Dumbledore spoke before Severus had a chance to add more fuel to the fire, "Obviously there are still some hurt feelings on both sides, and I know that in time the two of you will move beyond them. You both have so much in common, I know you'll be great friends."

In reply, Dumbledore heard a huff from Severus and saw the disbelieving look on Andrew's face.

"Please continue, Andrew."

"Yes, well…I _was _saying that things went too far, but I meant with someone else. Minerva had a serious talk with me the night before she left."

"Oh dear Merlin," Albus breathed.

"She was absolutely adamant—"

"About you not coming to meals?" Dumbledore interrupted. "I know. She sent me a letter."

Dumbledore didn't notice the brief flush on Snape's face and he certainly had no way of knowing that Snape had in fact forged McGonagall's handwriting and written that letter himself.

"Actually this had nothing to do with meals."

"Then what was it about?"

"Well…" Andrew began, nervously rubbing his hands together. "She wanted me to leave Hogwarts. She told me that when she returned from her holiday she expected me, well, to be dearly departed."

"She ordered you to leave?" Dumbledore asked with some amusement.

"Yes. And I sort of lied to you before…the reason I came today…this morning actually, was because I remembered she said she was coming back tonight. I didn't want to chance a meeting with her."

"I had no idea she was so concerned about me. Granted no one was happy about my 'relationship' with you, but to banish you from Hogwarts…"

"It's worse than that, I'm afraid. She told me if I was still present upon her return, she would make it her mission to transfigure, those were her very words, my life into a living hell!"

"Minerva threatened you?" Dumbledore asked dumbfounded.

"I couldn't believe it myself."

"This is ridiculous," Snape interjected. "I mean, Merlin knows you were acting like a righteous arse and a bloody moron and a—"

"Severus, I think we get the point," Dumbledore interjected.

"Not really," Snape muttered under his breath.

"I had no idea she would be so protective," Dumbledore insisted. Noticing Andrew's anxious expression, Dumbledore inquired, "Andrew, what is it that you're not telling me?"

Another deep sigh. "She was being more than protective. She attacked me, Uncle."

"What?"

"I asked her what her problem was – you know, in my persona at the time – and she petrified me and hung me from the ceiling."

Dumbledore's eyes were bulging now.

"Are you making this up?" Snape snapped angrily at Andrew.

"I wish I was."

"I don't understand what could have come over her."

A moment's hesitation and then Andrew confessed, "She's madly in love with you."

"No!"

"Now I know you're joking," Snape insisted.

Andrew threw his head in his hands and whispered, "I wish I was. Believe me." Andrew looked up and met Dumbledore's confused stare. "She told me to let you down easily – to make something up in order to spare your feelings. She insisted that I must have somehow confused you, bewitched you even, because she knew there was no way you _liked _men."

"Oh Merlin!" Dumbledore was at a loss. How was he going to explain this whole deception to Minerva now? And what would she do when she found out he was with Severus? Would she turn her vendetta against him?

"She told me thatwhen she got back she was going to tell you the truth…finally, after all these years."

"The truth?"

"That she wants you. That she has for a very long time. She told me she had been waiting for Voldemort's defeat; that she was finally getting up the courage to tell you all of this just when I arrived and spoiled everything. And she added that I'd better be gone before she returned because she was going to speak with you as soon as she got back."

"That's tonight!" Dumbledore said in a panic.

"It's really ironic if you think about it," Andrew continued, "All that time when you were trying to woo Severus, you were winning Minerva's heart. It's pretty funny, actually."

"This is not the least bit funny," Dumbledore snapped, hearing his words being echoed precisely from Severus as well.

"Severus," Andrew added, "…a word of advice. Protect yourself. She's gone off the deep end."

"I can't believe this," Dumbledore mumbled to himself, and then snapped, "Why didn't you say any of this before?"

"I didn't want to spoil our plan, and I thought this might have distracted you."

"I can't imagine what would have given you that idea!!" Dumbledore exclaimed. This was a disaster! Just when he thought everything had worked out for the best, he was finding out that this whole situation had blown up in his face. What was he going to do now?

Dumbledore stood sharply and began pacing in tight circles, half-mumbling, half-exclaiming, "I never would have thought!" "What am I going to do?" "She's clearly lost control if she threatened you…" "I have to work with her…" "I'm going to have to sit her down and explain that it's nothing to do with her, but that I prefer men, that I always have…bloody hell!" "I'm beginning to feel sick…"

He glanced up and met Severus's and Andrew's stares of amusement and within a second, something clicked in Dumbledore's head. Andrew was completely doubled-over with laughter, so much so that Severus was supporting him with his arm.

Severus looked straight at his lover and said through a narrow-eyed victorious glare, "I got you, Albus…hook, line and sinker!"

Albus knew he was staring open-mouthed at Severus.

Snape continued, "You didn't think I'd let that whole scheme you cooked up and force fed me last week slide without getting some revenge, did you? I contacted Andrew, and he was very happy to oblige."

Andrew managed through his choked laughter, "Severus, did you see his face when I said Minerva was going to seduce him tonight? I nearly burst a vein trying to contain myself."

Albus sank down in the armchair. He was so full of relief that he didn't have to deal with his deputy Headmistress that he wasn't even angry at the deception. "So this has all been part of your plot. You two weren't really fighting?"

"No," Severus replied with a smile.

"And Minerva's not in love with me. Thank Merlin for small miracles."

"Thank you for your help, Andrew," Snape began. "You were very convincing."

"Please don't thank me, Severus. I owe you for this! That was the most fun I think I've ever had. And if I was convincing, you were incredible! That Death Eater bit you threw in there…I thought you were being serious for a moment. You scared me half to death!"

Snape, who was clearly pleased, made a mock-bow in reply.

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Dumbledore inquired from his armchair.

"No," the two younger wizards replied in unison.

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_to be continued..._

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**_Author's Note: _**I hope you all enjoyed this first installment of this 6-part fic. Pending revisions along the way, I will be posting fairly regularly.

I can't wait to hear your comments...


	2. Surprises all around

**Title: **The Best Laid Plans…  
**Author: **CocoaSnape  
**Disclaimer: **Alas, I do not own the HP universe; JK Rowling/Warner Bros does. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**The Best Laid Plans…**  
by **CocoaSnape**

As Minerva McGonagall made her way through the Hogwarts main gates, several hours earlier than expected, she was highly perturbed by what she saw. Nearly all the relaxing effects of her holiday were lost in that single moment, when she spotted the Headmaster's lover, Andrew, making his way along the path towards Hogsmeade. _Why in Merlin's name was he still here?_ she thought angrily. The stern witch contemplated intercepting the young man, but swiftly decided against it. She would go straight to the source…Albus. It was one thing to have fun, but to continue this _affair _with that insolent twerp, who had not a single shred of discretion or restraint was plainly unprofessional. This had gone far enough, and she resolved she would tell Albus as much.

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Shortly after Andrew's departure in the early afternoon, Dumbledore made his way upstairs to find Severus. Standing in the doorway of his bedroom, he spotted Severus in the sitting area across from the bed, reading a Potions journal.

"Avoiding me, are you?" Dumbledore asked with a touch of humor in his voice.

Snape looked up. The corners of his mouth quirked slightly as he replied, "No. Should I be?"

Dumbledore approached the couch. "Oh yes. I should think you're in trouble for that little stunt."

"Oh really?" Snape asked in mock anger.

Dumbledore continued, "I suppose I did deserve that. But did you have to let it go on for so long?"

"It was barely 20 minutes! I think that was a reasonable trade for the whole week you made me believe you were sleeping with an infuriating arse."

"Perhaps," Dumbledore chuckled. "When exactly did you contact Andrew?" Dumbledore asked as he took a seat next to Severus.

"Two days ago. We didn't plan too much. I wanted to keep it spontaneous."

"Hmm, yes. That was a very nice idea having Andrew arrive early with little warning, thus giving a reason for your aggravation with him from the beginning. Yours?"

"Of course," Snape answered with his trademark smirk.

Dumbledore leaned forward abruptly and kissed it away. The kiss was gentle, almost tentative, and when he pulled back, he whispered, "That was rather clever of you, dear boy. But I do hope that the deception is over now…from _both _of us."

Snape squirmed slightly in his seat. Lowering his gaze, he began, "Actually, Albus, I do have a confession to make." At Dumbledore's clearly surprised expression, he continued, "It has to do with Minerva. She's getting back tonight and this might come up."

"You're not pulling my leg again, are you?" Dumbledore asked with an exaggerated huff.

"No." A pause. "I wrote that note. I forged Minerva's handwriting."

"Did you?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes widening. A smile suddenly graced his face.

"I couldn't stand it," Snape exclaimed hastily, suddenly feeling the need to explain his actions. "He was driving me batty at meals! I couldn't eat in peace."

"Oh. Is that all, Severus?" Dumbledore inquired with slightly raised eyebrows and a bright twinkle in his eyes.

"I thought if Minerva wrote to you, you might listen to her."

"I must re-read that note now," Dumbledore mused aloud.

"Oh please don't," Snape all but pleaded. He didn't think he could stand the humiliation.

"Fine. But then tell me why you wrote it," Dumbledore bargained.

"I already told you. I couldn't eat in the presence of that impudent arse."

"Let me rephrase. Why did you _really _write it?" Dumbledore asked, his voice suddenly low and commanding.

"What kind of question is that? I thought he was a gold-digger and that he was taking advantage of you. I didn't want to see you hurt."

"And?" Dumbledore asked, waving his hand in front of his lover's robes, watching as all the buttons and fastenings opened, listening as Severus groaned as his robes parted down the middle.

Mustering some semblance of composure, Snape replied, "And…I wanted my friend back. I hated the way you were around him."

Albus reached out stroked his lover's chest, grazing the hardened nipples. Severus had closed his eyes and was struggling to remain still. Albus whispered his next question against the shell of Severus's ear. "And how was I?"

"Weak…indecisive…passive," Severus managed through hitched breaths as Albus's hand descended lower, caressing the inside of his thighs.

"Is that right?" Dumbledore murmured sensuously. "And you didn't like that?"

"I like you like this," Severus panted.

"How's that?" Dumbledore demanded, suddenly hoisting Severus up by his waist. "Assertive?"  
"Yes," came the whispered reply.

Pushing Severus towards and onto the bed, Albus divested his lover of the rest of his clothing and pressed himself flush against Severus, grinding his clothed body roughly against his lover's erection.

"Forceful?" Dumbledore growled.

"Yes," Severus whimpered.  
A whispered word and Dumbledore was naked as well, both men groaning and thrusting against each other in the same moment.

"Wanting you desperately?" Dumbledore breathed through his arousal.

"Yeeeess!" Severus hissed.  
"Merlin I wanted you those months. Dreamed of having you, Severus…under me…just like this…"

"Yes Albus, _please_…have me," Snape implored, his body on fire with need.

The sound of the door being flung open caused both men to snap their heads up at precisely the same moment. Both stared in shock at the even more shocked visage of Minerva McGonagall.

"What in the blazes…?" McGonagall began, but then remembering herself, quickly turned around and shut the door.

Dumbledore dropped his head down, closed his eyes and emitted a deep sigh. "Fuck."

"Not bloody likely!" Severus snapped back.

"I'm sorry, Severus, I have to go and speak with her. Wait right here." Throwing his bathrobe on while Severus pulled the duvet over his whole body, including his head, Dumbledore left his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He was more than a little surprised to see that Minerva was waiting right outside the door for him, her fingers angrily tapping against his magical telescope.

"What the devil is going on here, Albus? I demand an explanation."

Glancing back at his bedroom door, Dumbledore replied, "Now is not a good time, Minerva."

"Not a good time?!" she said in a huff.

"Yes, not a good time. Perhaps we can discuss this later when—"

Dumbledore was interrupted with the door opening and Severus emerging, fully dressed and with a scowl on his face. He nearly flew past them, his robes billowing all the way down the stairs. Dumbledore sighed and supposed that with Severus fully clothed, there was no longer any point in postponing this conversation.

"Let me get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs in a moment," Dumbledore said.

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Dumbledore had known explaining this whole situation would be an embarrassing endeavor. But he had no idea just how much so. The last several minutes had felt like a drawn out torture as he outlined an abbreviated version of the events of the past two weeks to his Deputy Headmistress, whose frown only worsened and ultimately turned into a scowl.

"Have you told the faculty yet?"

"No, I haven't," Dumbledore admitted. "And I'm not planning to either."

"Well I can't say I'm surprised! This whole thing is quite preposterous. What in Merlin's name were you thinking, Albus?"

"As I have told you, clearly I was not. There is no need to rub it in. Severus has done a good job of that already."

Minerva remained silent for a long moment, clearly trying to wrap her mind around the cursory explanation Albus had given her. "I'm surprised Severus forgave you for that deception."

From the sitting room corner where Snape had been hiding, he peeked his head out and interrupted, "That's the first intelligent thing you've said, Minerva."

"As you can see," Dumbledore continued, "I'm still working on that…"

"Severus, perhaps you'd like to give a better explanation than Albus as to what's been going on here."

Snape's expression indicated that that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Minerva," Dumbledore began, "I think that is really enough for now. We'll talk about this another time."

"Alright, but I'm holding you to that," she replied sternly. "This conversation is far from over, Albus Dumbledore." And with that, she swept out of his office and down the spiral staircase.

A moment later, Snape inquired, "Now what?"

Dumbledore sighed. "Personally, I can't think of a better time to go away."

-

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**_Author's Note: _**I hope you enjoyed this short interlude as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Thank you for all your comments and kind words...

Please review.


	3. Paris

**Title: **The Best Laid Plans…  
**Author: **CocoaSnape  
**Disclaimer: **Alas, I do not own the HP universe; JK Rowling/Warner Bros does. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**The Best Laid Plans…**  
by **CocoaSnape**

The next morning, with warm air filling their lungs, bright sunshine heating their faces, and the distant sound of an accordion reaching their ears, Albus and Severus knew they had timed their departure perfectly. They could not have been happier to be away from Hogwarts and most especially from Minerva McGonagall. Dumbledore's visage was marked by a smile so striking it seemed part of his permanent expression. He was finally alone with Severus, and he intended on making the most of this opportunity by showing his lover how much he cared for him. Dumbledore had planned this trip extensively – organizing every detail, researching every excursion, every eatery. He wanted to dote on Severus as no one had ever done before, and he knew Severus would be pleased with the results.

Snape absentmindedly smoothed his suit and adjusted his cravat. Although his robes were notably absent, his attire wasn't strikingly different from what he usually wore. He was clad in black trousers and a crisp white shirt barely visible through his buttoned black suit jacket and black cravat.

Dumbledore eyed Severus carefully and said, "Don't get me wrong, Severus – you do look rather stunning in that suit – but are all your clothes so formal? And black?"

Snape pulled his suitcase, shrunk to the size of a galleon, out of his pocket. "I think I may have something of a different color in here. I did, after all, pack rather heavily, since someone insisted on keeping his plans a secret. But I might put a similar question to you. Do you own anything less…audacious?"

Dumbledore was indeed a sight to behold. Snape couldn't ever remember seeing Albus wearing muggle clothing, and it was quite an experience. Granted it was hard to tell if the muggle-look suited him, given his eccentric interpretation of it. He wore white denim trousers, casual sandals, and a long-sleeved bright purple shirt with white tassels that dangled and swished about the entire length of each arm as he walked. His beard was tied off with a purple tassel that matched his shirt. The outfit was completed with a rose-colored ascot.

"Hmm, and here I thought this was rather conservative."

Their first stop was a pâtisserie for a 'café noir' for Severus and a 'café crème' for Albus. Snape couldn't suppress an amused smile as he watched Albus gleefully eyeing the alluring pastries. He could hear Albus chiming under his breath the pros and cons of lemon tarts versus profiteroles, as if the weight of the universe lay with this single decision. Finally, Albus settled with some triumph on the pain au chocolat.

After eating, they made their way across the Pont Neuf, stopping in the middle of the bridge to admire Sainte Chapelle, the bright sun just peaking over the top of its spire.

They walked hand-in-hand, leisurely strolling along the bank of the Seine. Despite enjoying the time alone with Albus, Snape was not accustomed to doing anything at such an unhurried pace. In an amused tone, he asked, "Do you have a destination in mind, Albus, or are we simply looking for more pâtisseries?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "I am sure we will be doing much of that, but to your question…I know how much you like art, Severus, so I thought—"

"We're going to the Louvre?" Snape conjectured, trying very hard not to sound disappointed. He'd been there twice and had found the experience overwhelming and the vast majority of the art not to his taste. He therefore could not have been more delighted by Albus's answer.

"The Louvre? Merlin no. This getaway is supposed to be romantic, not exhausting."

When they arrived at their destination, the Musée d'Orsay, Severus's excitement was promptly quashed by the enormous queue that stretched out the door and around the block. But before he could even open his mouth to grumble, Albus presented a card to the attendant at the entrance, and they were ushered in without delay. Snape was duly impressed with Albus's preparedness and doubly keen to tour the museum. He'd been here once before, but very briefly, and he had always wanted to return. And he wondered how Albus could have known that.

"You mentioned it, Severus…some time ago," Dumbledore said, responding to Severus's unvocalized question.

It took Snape a moment, but the memory came to him. He had said something about wanting to see the Monets first hand. But the comment had been made in passing and to no one in particular at a faculty meeting when Sinistra mentioned she had been to the museum. And too Snape realized that that had been years ago. How on earth had Albus remembered?!

"I suggest we start with the sculpture in the atrium and make our way to the Monets," Dumbledore casually gestured, trying to seem as nonchalant as he could, though in truth he had studied the layout of the museum in painstaking detail.

"I see you've thought of everything, Albus."

Dumbledore smiled. "I promised to show you an exquisite time and—"

"Albus Dumbly-dorr!!" a voice interrupted.

"…and it seems I might have overestimated," Dumbledore finished with a slight wince.

Snape turned around abruptly to see Madame Maxime, Headmistress of Beauxbatons, making her way towards them with Hagrid in tow on her arm. Snape cursed under his breath, and just before the pair got within earshot, he whispered angrily to Albus, "I told you we should have gone to Australia!"

The next few hours were as painful for Dumbledore as they were for Severus. Not because he didn't enjoy Madame Maxime's and Hagrid's company. On the contrary, he found Madame Maxime charming as always and Hagrid his usual affable self. But Dumbledore knew Severus was not having a good time. This was not part of the romantic getaway he had planned. Nonetheless, Dumbledore realized it would have been very impolite to excuse themselves from the other couple's company so soon after meeting them.

Dumbledore consoled himself with the fact that Severus and Maxime seemed to hit it off. They discussed many of the works in detail and both seemed to know a great deal more about the mechanics and history of art than did Dumbledore. It was Hagrid who was beginning to get on Severus's nerves.

The half-giant was listening intently to the conversation Olympe was having with Snape. He grumbled mentally that the pair seemed to be getting along so well. Had it been anyone else, Hagrid would have been angry, but he knew this wasn't Snape's fault. Snape was very intelligent, much more intelligent than he could ever be, Hagrid thought to himself. But nonetheless, the present circumstances did leave him feeling rather inadequate. He followed demurely behind, hoping that he might at least glean something clever to say.

"Ah, Cezanne," Snape said with almost a reverent sigh as they approached a new painting.

A minute later, after the pair had been studying the painting in silence, Maxime remarked, "I simply adore 'is use of color 'ere. And ze brush strokes are reminiscent of Pissarro, don't you zink?"

"What an astute observation. Though I don't believe he'd delight the comparison with his mentor in this case; this does appear to be one of his later post-Impressionist works." Snape replied.

Hagrid wondered if his ears needed a good cleaning. It sounded just like Snape and Olympe were speaking nonsense.

As the group rounded the corner, Hagrid noticed Olympe squeezing Snape's arm and he felt a sudden urgency to act. He pointed to the canine in the lower left corner of the painting they were studying and said gruffly, "That's a nice sturdy lookin' dog that is."

Maxime turned her head and stared at Hagrid in confusion for a moment before giving him a placating smile.

Several minutes later, Hagrid pulled Snape around the corner and began, "Professor Snape sir, I need yeh to help meh say somethin' to impress Olympe."

"You must be joking."

"Maybe yeh didn't notice, but I'm not doing too good here," Hagrid insisted.

"You don't think your comments about dogs are doing it for you?" Snape asked sarcastically.

"Professor Snape, could yeh please help me?"

Snape let out a deep sigh and said, "All right, fine. We're about to see the Monets. When we get there, say: 'I find that the Monets always make an Impression.'"

"Impression. Monets make an impression. Gotcha. Thanks."

Hagrid and Snape hurried to catch up with Maxime who was strolling now arm in arm with Dumbledore into the next room. When they caught up with the pair, they were standing transfixed before one of Monet's _Green Reflections_.

Hagrid was anxious to use this opportunity. He cleared his throat and proclaimed rather too loudly, "I, he-hem, find that these Monets here, like this one, always do make an impression." He paused. "Don't you, Olympe?"

Maxime's eyes widened momentarily and Hagrid thought for a fleeting moment that he had botched the line.

"Oh 'agrid, you are so funny!" Maxime laughed and put her arm around his shoulders and gave a little squeeze.

Hagrid may not have understood that what he had said was supposed to be humorous, but he was more than pleased with the results. And very grateful to Snape for his assistance.

Unfortunately for Snape, the adventure didn't end there. Hagrid continued to pester him for more things to say and despite himself, Snape obliged. He couldn't have said why he did it, except that he remembered what it had been like for him, just a few weeks ago, having feelings for someone and not being certain if they were returned, wanting to do anything and everything to get an edge. So as they made their way through the museum, Snape slipped Hagrid clever insights about the paintings and witty comments about art in general, some of which Hagrid butchered in his delivery, but for the most part proved him to be more cultured than anyone would have expected.

As they left the museum, Dumbledore was beaming from ear to ear and whispered, "That was very sweet of you, Severus."  
Inflamed by Dumbledore's obvious pride that he had done something so nice for Hagrid, Snape snapped, "Stop being so cheerful!"

Albus ignored Severus's grumbling and said, "I am sorry, Severus, for how the day has turned out. Why don't you select our activity for the rest of the afternoon. Where would you like to go? Notre Dame, the Champs Élysées, the Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower? We're just a hop skip from the Tuileries if you fancy a stroll." Sensing that Severus wasn't interested in his suggestions, Albus continued, "Or another museum perhaps? The Pompidou has a very interesting exhibit at the moment…"

"Pére Lachaise."

Dumbledore blinked. A moment later he asked, "You want to go to a cemetery for our romantic getaway?"

"It's not as though I asked to see the Catacombs for Merlin's sake. I've never been and some of the greatest Potions Masters of this century are buried there."

Dumbledore paused a moment and then reached into his pocket, unfolded a piece of paper and handed it to Severus. Snape's eyes widened in astonishment as he realized what it was, a map of Pére Lachaise, with the relevant graves highlighted.

"It seems you thought of everything, Albus."

Before Dumbledore could smile in victory, Snape added with a smirk, "_Except_…how to find some privacy. Which, correct me if I'm wrong, was the whole point of this trip. Hagrid is never going to leave my side now!"

"Don't be silly. Seeing how things have worked in Hagrid's favor this afternoon, I'm sure he'll want to be alone with Madame Maxime. After lunch, we'll go our separate ways."

-

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But during that late lunch in a cafe on Boulevard Saint Germain, while Dumbledore and Maxime were lost in an animated conversation, Hagrid leaned close to Snape's ear and whispered urgently, "She told me we're going to the loo tomorrow."

"The loo?" Snape asked incredulously.

"Yeah, yeh know…the big museum."

"For Merlin's sake! It's pronounced the Louvre," Snape snapped.

"Yeah, that's it," Hagrid continued, oblivious to Snape's irritation. "And I don't know anything about this art stuff. Yeh'll come along, won't yeh? To give meh some more advice?"

"Absolutely not, Hagrid. We have plans."

"But yeh're going to be in Paris anyway. She's givin' me a tour she said, the Louvre and Versailles. If yeh could just go wit' us, it would really help meh to…"

Hagrid didn't get to finish his plea, however, as Dumbledore's voice cut through suddenly addressing the group. "And it really was a joy running into the both of you, Madame Maxime, Hagrid. I hope the two of you enjoy your tour of Paris. Severus and I actually have plans to go to the Riviera tomorrow. He's never been and I think we both can use some sun."

"Ah, but zat sounds marvelous, Albus," Maxime replied. "Early June eez ze best time to go. Ze beaches are too crowded later in ze summer. And I shall finish zat tour of Paris I promeezed 'agrid."

Hagrid could not have looked more distressed at this new information. Snape just stared at Dumbledore in grateful surprise for handling the situation.

A few minutes later when Maxime excused herself, Dumbledore tried to reassure a very sullen looking Hagrid.

"Hagrid, listen to me. Just be yourself. Olympe likes you for who you are."

"Really, Professor Dumbledore sir?"

"Yes really."

"Maybe the two of yeh can recommend a book I can read so I can say some of that artsy stuff."

"You can't be serious," Snape exclaimed.

"Hagrid, trust me. I know this," Dumbledore continued while eyeing Severus. "You can do many things to attempt to win someone's heart, but in the end, it pays to be yourself."

After Albus and Severus waved goodbye to Hagrid and Maxime, Severus remarked pointedly, "You lied to Hagrid."

"Did I?" Dumbledore asked.

"You said that complex attempts at seduction don't work. It worked for you."

"Ah no. I told him to be himself, and that's exactly what I was."

"A crazy old man?" Snape inquired in amusement.

"Precisely," Dumbledore replied with a smile.

"So are we really going to the beach?"

"Unless you'd rather stay and play Cyrano de Bergerac to Hagrid."

"No thank you. But the _beach_?" Snape cringed.

"Why not?"

"Do I look like a beach person to you?" Snape asked somewhat irritably.

"I think you'd look quite edible in beach attire, Severus."

Snape grumbled something unintelligible and Dumbledore continued, "I was thinking of Nice or Marseille." Sensing his lover's reluctance, Dumbledore added, "It'll be romantic, Severus."

"Is that so?"

"I promise."

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**_Author's Note: _**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It is in some ways inspired by/a tribute to a magnificent morning I spent in the Musée d'Orsay.

Thank you for all your reviews. I'm delighted to find so many people who are enjoying not only this story, but this pairing as well.

Regarding '_Unexpected Grace_,' I am working on the next chapter - never fear. But unfortunately, that is not a story I can just whip out. I ask for your patience.

In the next chapter, Albus tries to fulfill his promise in Marseille. Sand, sun, and fun...how can Severus not be pleased!?

Please review.


	4. Marseille

**Title: **The Best Laid Plans…  
**Author: **CocoaSnape  
**Disclaimer: **Alas, I do not own the HP universe; JK Rowling/Warner Bros does. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.  
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**The Best Laid Plans…**  
by **CocoaSnape**

Dumbledore and Snape arrived in Marseille the following morning. They checked in early at their hotel, which was comprised of a set of small, but private cabins situated on the beach on the city's outskirts. It may not have been as upscale an establishment as the hotel Albus had selected for them in Paris, but to Severus it was perfect and he surmised correctly that Albus had chosen it for its relative isolation in this large city.

They made very quick work of unpacking their things (again) and decided to spend the morning touring some of the historic sites of this Provençal capital.

As they exited their cabin directly onto the beach, Snape stopped dead in his tracks, nearly causing Albus to bump into him.

Snape gestured to a couple lying on the beach and with a deceptively calm voice he inquired, "Albus, did you forget to mention that you've booked us a hotel on a nude beach?"

"This isn't a nude beach, Severus."

"Oh really? Well then flesh colored bathing suits must be the new rage!"

Dumbledore chuckled. "My point is that this isn't a designated nude beach. You can wear whatever you like. There are no restrictions on that here."

"I'm not going to lie on the beach if there are a bunch of body parts staring me in the face," Snape huffed.

Dumbledore gave Severus a playful nudge. "I never figured you for a prude, Severus."

Snape let out an irritated sigh. "You very well know that I am not, but to flash people who have no interest in seeing is rude."

"Then don't look."

"You know very well that is impossible," Snape admitted.

Dumbledore laughed at that.

"_You're _not planning on going naked, are you?" Snape asked.

Dumbledore laughed even harder. "What do you think, Severus?"

"I'm long done putting anything past you, Albus."

"True true," Dumbledore replied with a wide smile.

-

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They spent the first half of their day on a self-guided walking tour of the city, beginning first in the Old Port where they observed with some fascination the morning hustle and bustle of the fish market. They stopped frequently to peruse the shops and cafes during the slow uphill climb through the winding streets into the city's heart. It was some hours later before they reached the Notre-Dame de la Garde cathedral, which stood on the highest point in Marseille. They found an isolated bench and sat in near silence, taking in the breathtaking panorama of the bay as it stretched into the open ocean.

By the time they returned to the beach by late-afternoon, the nude sunbathers were gone, much to Snape's relief. After a quick change of clothes, Snape situated himself on the lounge chair under the shade of a nearby tree and grudgingly admitted to himself that this was actually rather pleasant.

When Albus came out in his swim suit, Severus quickly shut his eyes.

"Is something wrong, Severus?"

"I think you've burned out my corneas, Albus." Carefully opening his eyes to take in the neon orange colored swimming trunks that descended just above Albus's knees, Severus commented, "You have a peculiar fascination with bright colors."

"I think they look good on me."

"At least there aren't any tassels dangling from them."

"Not on these particular swimming trunks anyway," Dumbledore replied with a wink.

With raised eyebrows, Snape replied, "I don't believe I will ever get used to your fashion sense, Albus."

"Well, Severus, I wouldn't call what you're wearing beach attire by any stretch of the imagination," Albus rebutted, eyeing his lover shrewdly. Severus was wearing perfectly pressed crème-colored trousers with a matching crème-colored dress shirt. He had rolled up his sleeves around his elbows in a way that was almost provocative, given that it was something he would have never done before. Albus took in Severus's left forearm, no longer blemished by the Dark Mark, with a sense of relief that that odious reminder of Voldemort was gone from Severus's life forever, along with the monster himself.

Returning his attention to his lover's clothing, Dumbledore eyed Severus with an approving stare. "It may not be beach attire, Severus, but I have to say, you look absolutely delectable in that."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. That color is beautiful against your skin. You should wear it more often."

"More often than never, you mean?" Snape jibed.

"Yes. Is that too much to ask?" Dumbledore's asked.

"With the right enticements, Albus," Snape replied in a tantalizing tone, "anything is possible."

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About an hour later, Snape was reveling in the soothing sounds of the nearly deserted beach, the ocean's gentle waves, and Albus digging in the sand. He looked up and marveled at the childlike glee on Albus's face as he completed his sand castle, a lopsided rendition of Hogwarts.

"Do you like it, Severus?"

With an amused smirk, Snape clutched the pocket of his trousers a moment and a second castle appeared next to Albus's, this one an exact replica of Hogwarts down to smoke curling out of the chimney of Hagrid's hut.

"That doesn't count, my dear. I've spent the last hour making mine by hand."

"And you think that's fun?"

"Oh yes!" Finishing the details on one of the turrets of the castle, Dumbledore continued with a twinkle in his eye, "Isn't this just wondrous, Severus? I'm having a splendid time. What about you?"

"I have to admit, Albus, it's not half—"

He had meant to say, '_It's not half bad_,' which for Snape would have been a ringing endorsement. But he never got the chance to finish his thought.

"Albus! Oh look, Arthur dear, it's Albus!"

Dumbledore's heart sank as he registered the owner of that voice.

"Bloody hell no!" Snape muttered as he turned his head and saw Molly and Arthur Weasley stepping out of the cabin adjacent to their own.

"You don't need to say it, Severus," Dumbledore whispered defeatedly.

"Yes I do, Albus. Yes I do. _I told you so!_"

Molly was upon them before she even recognized Snape, clad not in his usual black robed attire.

"Oh my! Severus is here too," she cried. "It's so good to see you both. We were just checking in and I noticed your name in the hotel register, Albus. I thought, 'what an amazing coincidence!'"

"You're not the only one," Snape muttered under his breath.

"Albus, Severus," Arthur acknowledged as he caught up with his very eager wife. "How are you both?"

Dumbledore replied politely, "Very well, thank you."

"And you, Severus? Are you enjoying yourself?" Arthur asked.

Dumbledore winced in anticipation of what Severus might say, but instead of speaking, Severus stood, took a few steps over to Albus's castle, and stomped it completely flat before replying, "Tremendously."

Oblivious to Snape's outburst, Molly continued to blather on, sitting down on the free lounge chair just a few feet away. "I can't tell you how excited we are to finally go on a proper holiday. Arthur has been so successful in his new position at the Ministry. And that's all thanks to you, Albus, for prompting the Ministry to create and give him the Muggle Ambassadorship."

"I couldn't think of anymore more deserving, Molly," Dumbledore replied.

"Oh that's so sweet of you to say. He has been doing very important work too. For instance, just last week he—"

"Molly," Arthur interrupted, "perhaps we should leave Albus and Severus alone. We could use the time to unpack."

"Nonsense. We can always do that later. Oh Albus, you haven't seen the grandchildren in so long! I forgot to mention that Bill and Fleur are here with Alison and Gregory." A moment later Bill emerged with a baby in his arms and his 3 year old daughter running energetically behind him. "They are both so full of life, Albus, Severus! You'll love them."

"How delightful," Snape said tightly.

As Bill came over and he and Snape shook hands, Molly took the opportunity to pull Albus aside and show him the album of pictures she apparently carried with her at all times documenting her grandchildren's youth.

Arthur sighed and moved closer to Severus. "Sorry about this. She is so frightfully happy these days. I must say, I'm rather surprised to see you here, Severus."

"Yes, well…"

"Albus dragged you out here, didn't he?" Arthur conjectured.

"Yes, he did."

"Well, you could do with a much deserved break before the autumn term."

Molly interrupted her exchange with Albus to interject into Arthur's and Severus's conversation. "Oh that's so sweet, Albus! Bringing Severus along with you. Isn't Albus just so sweet, Severus?"

"If you only knew the half of it," Snape replied with an artificial smile.

Snape spent the next hour watching Albus show Alison how to build sand castles while trying to ignore Molly and Fleur conversing with him about increasingly inane topics. When he couldn't take another minute, Snape excused himself and made his way into their cabin.

A few minutes later, Albus came in behind him.

"Severus, I'm so sorry."

"Can't we just leave?"

Dumbledore looked uncomfortable. "That would be very rude and _very_ obvious. They know we just got here and that we're booked for the week. Apparently Molly asked the desk clerk and he told her."

"Sod it!" Severus didn't know what he wanted Albus to do. After all, it seemed rather premature to be telling people that they were seeing each other given that they had been together for little more than a week, and beyond that he knew there was not much more Albus could do. But that didn't mean Snape couldn't be angry at the situation and a little at Albus for not following his advice of taking him half way around the world instead. "So this is your idea of a romantic getaway, is it?"

Dumbledore sighed. "I know this is far from ideal, Severus," Dumbledore began, moving forward and putting his hands around Severus's waist. "But I could make it up to you…"

"Oh really? Can you make them disappear, Albus? Perhaps confound them into thinking they all have urgent appointments somewhere else. Preferably in China!"

Albus closed the distance between them and whispered silkily, "I was thinking more along the lines of a nice hot shower."

"Oh?" Severus found himself asking without conscious thought as Albus's hands moved lower, cupping his backside.

"Yes. That's something we haven't done yet…taken a shower together."

"Hmm," Snape muttered. The idea was definitely growing on him now.

"And I admit, I'm rather looking forward to it," Albus said as he squeezed Severus's buttocks in his hands. Severus groaned.

"Soaping you up," Albus continued in a whisper, "washing the sand out of your hair, touching you…everywhere, and then—"

A soft knock interrupted them. Albus closed his eyes with a sigh and tried to control the urge to scream. This could not be happening again. Albus stepped away from Severus just in time, as barely a moment later, Alison opened the door and ran in. She headed directly for their bed, climbed onto it without a word, and proceeded to jump up and down on it all while insisting Albus join her immediately.

Bill entered a moment later and apologized for his daughter's behavior, before apologizing for his mother as well. He informed Albus and Severus that Molly had reserved a table for all of them at the hotel's restaurant in less than two hours time. When Dumbledore turned around, he saw Severus slamming the door to the bathroom behind him and he knew that any attempts at romance on his part tonight would not be well received.

-

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If the hour spent on the beach that afternoon with the Weasleys felt like 10, then dinner that evening surely felt like an eternity. Mrs. Weasley spent a great deal of time trying to pry information out of both Albus and Severus about Ginny's N.E.W.T. results. Once Albus managed to convince her that the scores were still at the Ministry, she moved onto other topics, namely her _other_ children. She detailed what Charlie and Percy were up to and then moved onto Ron (who had just begun his Auror training, was engaged to Hermione Granger and had a new pet lizard). She enthusiastically raved about her daughter-in-law to be, who was already well under way in doing a double Mastery in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy.

"…It's going to be such a lovely wedding really. That is if I can ever get them to set a date. They're both so busy with work and just so happy to be together. I knew from the very beginning," Molly exclaimed, "that those two were made for each other. You should see the two of them together…"

Snape wanted to throw up. _The know-it-all plus the red-headed dunce_, Snape thought, _yes, that was certainly a match made in heaven!_ A quick charm told him the time and he could not believe that barely half an hour had passed. He glanced over at Albus who was smiling politely at Molly, and then gave Severus a sympathetic look.

By the time they had finished their appetizers, Snape was already struggling not pull out his hair or say something exquisitely rude (although he had had a lot of practice recently staying silent when Andrew was playing Albus's lover). Besides, Severus mused, he had been a spy for more than 18 years – this was nothing he could not handle. But the final straw came when Fleur interrupted Molly's rant about what flowers would match with the Burrow's décor for an outdoor wedding.

"And I prezume 'arry will be ze best man? How eez 'arry by ze way?"

_'No! no no no!' _Severus nearly screamed into Albus's mind.

_'Severus, there is no need to shout…'_ Albus replied. The rest of the table continued their conversation, oblivious to Albus's and Severus's surreptitious communication.

"Of course he'll be Ron's best man! Harry is so wonderful, isn't he? I've always thought of him as one of my own. Oh, but who wouldn't want Harry in their family, honestly. He's one of the sweetest, most respectful boys I've ever met…"

_'Please, not Potter! Anything but that!' _Snape pleaded.

_'Severus…'_

_'Don't try and calm me down, Albus. Merlin help me, I'm in the seventh circle of hell!'_

'_Is that the one where the Cerberus gnaws on you?' _Albus asked with a tinge of humor.

_'No. Boiling in blood!' _Snape replied furiously.

"…And when I think about all he went through when he was young," Molly continued. "It breaks one's heart, I tell you. The poor thing…"

_'I thought the two of you put some of that animosity behind you?' _Albus inquired.

_'It's a rather fragile truce. If I have the hear how all the rules he broke were because he lived in a cupboard, I will lose it!'_

_'Severus, you're going to give yourself a heart attack! There's no reason to get so agitated.'_

_'No reason?! I'm spending this farce of a romantic getaway with the Weasley brood talking about Potter! This couldn't possibly get any worse. I want to leave, Albus!'_

_'Severus, we just got here. How on earth are…one moment, Severus…"_

"Yes Molly," Dumbledore began, answering Mrs. Weasley's question of a moment ago. "Harry fire-called me about a month ago to say hello. He's quite busy these days I hear."

"Yes he is," Mrs. Weasley replied. "But he's taking some much needed time off. He, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are traveling together for the next few weeks."

"Traveling?" Snape abruptly cut in. "They're not in France by any chance?" Snape asked with absolute terror in his eyes.

Mrs. Weasley misunderstood his reaction completely and replied with a tinge of sadness, "Oh no, Severus. Wouldn't that be nice though…if we could all get together? But no…they wanted some time alone."

"Yes," Snape said in a mock wistful tone. "Alone time is such a wondrous, yet elusive thing, isn't it?"

"True true. Arthur we should really try to arrange a get together for…"

_'Sorry for the interruption, Severus. As I was saying, we just arrived. I can't see how we can leave so soon without being very rude.'_

Snape paused a second to think before replying mentally to Albus.

_'Have you ever considered the repercussions of not keeping me happy, Albus? Transfigurations may not be my forte, but I can very well transfigure that couch in our cabin into a second bed for myself.'_

Barely a moment later, Dumbledore interjected into the conversation, "A get together with everyone sounds absolutely lovely, Molly. I would enjoy that, especially since we must be leaving so soon. I forget to mention that Minerva owled just before dinner and it seems I must be back at Hogwarts in the next few days. And I promised Severus I would show him the vineyards. So I'm afraid we have to cut it short at the beach."

"Oh that is too bad, Albus! When are you leaving?"

_'This second,' Severus suggested helpfully._

"Tomorrow morning."

"Oh my. So soon! How disappointing."

"Yes, it is," Snape supplied and then added with a completely straight-face, "But we'll always have this delightful dinner to remember."

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**_Author's Note: _**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I always look forward to your comments.

When I was thinking of annoying people for our favorite couple to run into, the Weasleys were near the top of my list! And no...they will not be running into Harry/Ron/Hermione. I wanted Snape angry, not suicidal.

In the next chapter, Albus is getting desperate - so he takes Severus away from the cities and to a remote village in Alsace wine country.

Please review.


	5. Alsace

**Title: **The Best Laid Plans…  
**Author: **CocoaSnape  
**Disclaimer: **Alas, I do not own the HP universe; JK Rowling/Warner Bros does. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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_**The Best Laid Plans…**  
by **CocoaSnape**

Severus and Albus made their escape the following morning, early enough so that they were able to avoid breakfasting with the Weasleys. Dumbledore Apparated them both to their destination, a small villa in a sleepy town some many miles from Strasbourg, the capital of the Alsace region. The area was renowned for its awe-inspiring landscapes, pastel-painted villages, and peaceful vineyards that produced some of France's most exquisite wines.

After unpacked their things (for the third time in as many days), they made their way out to explore their surroundings.

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A few hours later, the pair was reaching the peak of the fairly formidable hill they had hiked. Dumbledore transfigured a rock into a comfortable couch, and they sat, taking in the heavily forested vista, the mountains on the distant horizon, and, to the east, the clearings with small houses and vineyards as far as the eye could see. To the west, they could make out the small medieval village they had visited earlier in the day. They had been out for hours, and had barely encountered a soul. It was perfect.

"You decided on the vineyards rather suddenly, Albus. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but what made you think of Alsace?"

"I've never had the opportunity to go on a vineyard tour before, Severus, and after two large cities, I thought the country would be a welcome change. I considered Bordeaux and Champagne briefly, but given their popularity, they are likely to be crowded this time of year. Besides, Alsace's vineyards are amongst the oldest in France, and the wines they produce are spectacular."

"Well then, I'm looking forward to sampling them."

"And so we shall. They have formal tours, of course, on the Alsace Wine Route, as they call it, but I thought we could go ourselves, keep this as our home-base throughout our excursions," Dumbledore suggested.

Snape did not reply. He knew there was something more. There must be thousands of sleepy villages and associated vineyards in this region alone to pick from. Why had Albus chosen this one specifically? "You're leaving something out, Albus," Snape ventured.

"No," Dumbledore replied with a bright twinkle in his eyes, "…just pausing for dramatic effect." Dumbledore smiled and continued, "This particular vineyard happens to make the wine I ordered for us on our first night out in London."

At Snape's surprised stare, Dumbledore prompted, "Remember…the Riesling?"

"Oh yes," Snape said. He did remember the wine. He remembered thinking it was rather too expensive for a meal between friends – so much these days made sense after the fact.

An hour later, Dumbledore and Snape were making their way back to their villa through its vineyard. With the mid-day sun shining bright and the tall, broad-leafed vines forming a passage around them, Albus and Severus felt a warm sense of seclusion. Albus reached for Severus's hand and asked, "So how did I do?"

At Snape's obvious hesitation, Dumbledore continued in a somewhat disappointed tone, "Are you not happy, Severus? Would you rather go somewhere else?"

"No, it's not that. It's…I'd rather not jinx it by saying."

Dumbledore chuckled. "I've never known you to be superstitious."

"I'm not." Plucking off a grape and giving it a taste, Snape asked, "So when do we taste these legendary wines?"

"There's a tasting in half an hour, in fact. Care to join me?" At Severus's nod, Dumbledore continued, "I'm quite keen to sample their collection. Besides the Rieslings, which are phenomenal, they also make some excellent Gewürztraminers for dessert. Lovely wines really – one for every pastry conceivable."

"Ah, it's suddenly becoming clearer to me why you like this region so much," Snape teased.

"Yes well, matching wines with dessert can be a trying endeavor. But these make it a labor of love. I turned Rolanda onto them some years ago and she's been raving about them ever since. That reminds me, we should buy her a bottle—"

"Why don't you buy me one now," a female voice suggested.

"Rolanda?" Dumbledore asked in complete disbelief.

Obscured from vision on the other side of the vine row, Rolanda Hooch spoke in a tone that indicated not a hint of surprise at running into the Headmaster, "Of course it's Rolanda. Who else would it be?"

Dumbledore cast a quick vanishing charm on the vine in front of them, and Hooch stepped across. Suddenly becoming aware of Snape's presence, she exclaimed enthusiastically, "Severus! What a brilliant surprise!"

Dumbledore could see the gloom fall over Severus.

But Hooch apparently didn't notice and continued, playfully nudging Severus's ribs, "So Albus decided to drag you out of the dungeons for some fresh air, eh?"

Snape mumbled something unintelligible that Hooch took as an assent.

"I didn't realize you both were coming. I asked Minerva to invite you, of course, but I didn't realize she had."

"She didn't," Dumbledore replied, the confusion evident on his face.

"She didn't? Then you mean to say this is all an amazing coincidence?!"

"Minerva's here?" Snape asked in horror.

"Not yet. She's coming this evening."

"Oh," Dumbledore replied, masking Severus's whispered, "Hex me now."

"I've been planning a trip to Alsace in my mind's eye for months now and I finally thought, 'why wait?'"

"And you came to this particular vineyard because…?" Dumbledore asked in astonishment.

"Because of you, of course. The Gewürztraminer you got me for Christmas was from this vineyard. I enjoyed it so much, I thought I'd visit," Hooch explained as Dumbledore cursed himself mentally. "I mentioned to Minerva a few days ago that we should invite you along, Albus, but she told me you had already gone away on holiday. I assumed she meant with Andrew. Where is Andrew, by the way?" Hooch asked Dumbledore somewhat tightly.

"Oh. He's gone," Dumbledore replied evasively.

"Gone?"

"Yes. Gone."

"I can't say I'm disappointed to hear it," Hooch replied and elbowed Severus for his reaction. He gave her a small smile.

"Well I'm thrilled you're here. We'll have a brilliant time!"

"We're not staying," Dumbledore blurted in an almost frantic tone.

"You're not?" Hooch asked.

"No. We're touring the Alsace region," Dumbledore offered. "We're leaving tomorrow."

"So are we!! We can tour the region together."

Dumbledore tried to make an excuse. "Oh…I don't think that—"

"Why don't we head over to the tasting," Hooch interrupted. "I'm really looking forward to trying some of these wines right from the barrel!"

Hooch threw her arm around Snape and dragged him along the path, leaving Albus following in tow. Snape could plainly see that Rolanda was delighted to have run into him. The two got along quite well actually, and under other circumstances, he would have enjoyed her company. But the last thing Snape wanted was more interruptions during his holiday with Albus. Given his tentative friendship with Rolanda, Snape thought he might simply confide to her his newfound relationship with the Headmaster. Despite her boisterous personality, Snape knew Rolanda could be discreet. And surely if she knew, she would give them the privacy they desired. She and Minerva could continue on with their tour without them.

Just before they entered the dining room inside the villa, Hooch exclaimed, "Oh the others will be so surprised you're here!"

"Others?" Dumbledore asked with widened eyes.

Snape turned around sharply and snapped, "Are you even surprised at this point, Albus?"

But when Snape made his way inside, he was more than surprised.

Nearly the entire Hogwarts faculty and staff were in attendance – Aurora Sinistra, Pomona Sprout, Poppy Pomfrey, Sybill Trelawney, Irma Pince, Septima Vector, and Bathsheba Babbling.

The Muggle woman running the tasting was arranging the seats around three small tables. As Snape entered, she asked, "Are you two gentlemen alone or with this party for the tasting?"

For one crazy moment, Snape thought of suggesting he'd never met these people before in his life, but Hooch interrupted, "Of course they're with us. So with the one cancellation that makes 11 in total." Hooch turned to Snape and explained, "Filius was supposed to come but he had to see to some family business."

Meanwhile, the rest of the faculty had surrounded and were talking animatedly with Albus about his impromptu arrival, all of them assuming that he had decided to join their group on Hooch's invitation. Only when Hooch turned their attention to the fact that Snape was there, did they even seem to notice his presence.

"Oh my, Severus…is that you?" Sinistra asked in astonishment. "I didn't even recognize you. Look what you're wearing!"

"I'm quite aware of what I'm wearing, thank you, as I dressed myself this morning," Snape remarked irately.

Following the collective gasp from the group, the faculty left Albus and surrounded Snape in much the same way a mob would. To Snape's consternation, they began analyzing his attire in detail, from the casual gray trousers to the long sleeved blue polo shirt.

"Doesn't he look gorgeous?" Hooch prompted with a smile.

"I'm still in a state of shock to see you out of your robes, let alone dressed so casually," Vector replied in astonishment. "You've been reading fashion magazines, haven't you?" Pince asked. "I think it suits you, Severus," Sprout said kindly. "I see you finally took my advice and decided to wear something other than that hideous black," Babbling sniped. "I don't see why you are all so surprised. Jupiter is in the high position and change is inevitable," Trelawney said haughtily. "Now if you could just tie back your hair…" Pomfrey suggested.

Snape had had enough. Muttering curses under his breath, he disengaged himself from the group of seven women surrounding him. "For Merlin's sake, it's a bloody witch convention!"

The Muggle woman shot him a nasty look, misunderstanding his literal use of the word. "Why don't we get started everyone," she said loudly.

Hooch pulled Snape down to the seat next to her, leaving Severus and Albus at opposite tables, each staring at each other with miserable expressions.

"Let me take you all through the basics of tasting," the wine hostess began. "I'm sure you are all familiar with the '5 Ss' – sight, smell, swirl, sip and spit."

"I can't tell you how happy we all are to see you, Severus," Babbling whispered. Snape gave her a suspicious look – he and the Runes professor did not get along in the least. Noticing his dubious expression, she explained, "This is only our second day here and we've already run out of hangover remedy. You brought some for us, didn't you, Severus?"

"I most certainly did not," Snape replied and received a collective groan from the assembled faculty.

"Don't mind them, Severus. They should have thought of that themselves," Hooch reassured and then added, "I'll be right back," and disappeared from the room.

"More than 90 of the wines in Alsace are white. As a result, all the wines we'll be tasting today are served cold," the hostess explained. "The first wine we'll be trying is one of our Rieslings. It is dry and fruity and renowned as one of the best white wines in the world. It is best enjoyed in the company of friends."

Snape rolled his eyes at that pronouncement and Albus gave him a sympathetic look. Once they made their way to the final stage of tasting this first wine, while everyone was spitting into their buckets, Snape was downing his entire glass.

"Severus!" Vector exclaimed. "You're supposed to spit it out."

"How then, pray tell, am I supposed to get pissed out of my mind?" Snape snapped angrily.

They spent half an hour on the Rieslings and by the time Hooch returned, Snape was already well on the way to his goal.

"Good news, Albus, Severus," Hooch proclaimed. "I managed to get both your names on the wine tour of Alsace with us for the next four days."

Dumbledore's stomach did a somersault. "Rolanda…"

"We're thinking of going to Bordeaux for another week after that. You're welcome to join us there as well."

"Rolanda," Albus continued, "That is very sweet of you, but I don't think we have time for—"

"Of course, I know you're very busy," Hooch interrupted amicably. "At least you set aside this time to tour Alsace. It'll be splendid."

"This is our own Gewürztraminer," the wine hostess continued. "In general, they make excellent aperitifs. This one in particular is quite floral and ideal to accompany a dessert. It is truly something to be savored."

Dumbledore wasn't feeling well as the idea of spending four days in the company of his faculty began to sink in. Hazarding a look over at Severus, his eyes widened as he took in the sight of his clearly agitated lover chugging directly from the bottle.

"Slow down there, Severus," Sinistra urged. "You're supposed to be 'savoring' it, not giving Sybill a run for her money."

Trelawney gave an affronted snort, but downed her glass nonetheless.

"The last wine I'll be sharing with you today, before I leave you to sample the rest of our collection on your own, is our sparkling Crémant d'Alsace. Here in Alsace we don't drink _champagne_," the hostess said with a great deal of distaste for the word. "For the most special of occasions there is nothing greater than this, and I am pleased to share it with you." Popping the cork on the silver wrapped bottle, she began to fill the glasses.

When she reached Snape's, he swiped it away and snapped, "I'm not in a celebratory mood, thank you very much."

"Speaking of celebratory moods," Pomfrey whispered to Vector, and then said loudly to Albus in a statement that much more resembled a question, "I notice Andrew's not in your company."

"Ah…" Dumbledore had been wondering when exactly this subject was going to come up.

"Yes, Albus," Snape said sardonically, "Tell us…where is Andrew?"

Dumbledore gave Severus a sharp glare, but the younger wizard merely refilled his glass with the bottles he had hoarded at his table and continued to drink unfazed.

"It's rather a long story and I really don't think anyone's interested in hearing it," Dumbledore said brusquely.

But glancing around at the eager looks on the faces of his faculty, Dumbledore realized that that was not at all the case. Snape gave Albus a subtle wink, knowing full well that the elder wizard was not about to explain the whole sordid affair to his faculty now, if ever.

Trelawney, swaying slightly in her chair, put down her glass and asked brazenly, "Tell us, Albus, was he good in bed?"

"Sybill!" several faculty gasped, but trained their eyes on Dumbledore in eager anticipation nonetheless.

Thankfully, Hooch responded before Dumbledore even had a chance to recover from his shock. "You're all nothing but a bunch of gossiping vultures! All of you. The Headmaster is not required to discuss his personal business with any of you, nor should he."

"Thank you, Rolanda," Dumbledore said sincerely.

Taking the cue that it was long past time to change the subject, Pince began affably, "Rolanda just mentioned that you'll be taking the Alsace tour with us, Albus. It's so good to see you're taking a few days for yourself. And it really is a wonderful tour. All the meals are included, of course. Tonight's dinner is right here. The food is fabulous and we can fill you in on what you've missed of Alsace so far."

Dumbledore was about to reply, but Severus's voice, loud and irate cut through the noise of the entire room.

"Wouldn't an _Australian_ wine be nice about now, Albus?" Ignoring the absolutely incensed expression on the wine hostess's face, he continued, "What a _change_ that would make!"

"I think he's gone mad," Babbling whispered.

"He's just drunk," Vector replied.

But Snape was not to be deterred. Through his already slurring speech, he continued until he was nearly shouting, "Don't you think French grapes are rather busy? Wouldn't an Australian wine be so much more…subdued?"

Dumbledore closed his eyes and sighed. He couldn't blame Severus for being angry. This was an absolute disaster. He thought he had planned the perfect getaway for the two of them. But, Dumbledore reflected somberly…even the best laid plans often go awry.

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What had been a wine tasting morphed rather inelegantly into an all out drinking fest. Dumbledore soon felt he did not recognize his own faculty. Needless to say, the '5 Ss' were rapidly reduced to just one…sipping. And Severus was certainly leading the pack. He had stopped talking altogether once the hostess had complied with his request and brought him the vineyard's highest alcohol content wine.

Two hours later, the hostess was busily lining their tables with linens and silverware, preparing the room for dinner.

Just before the first course came out, Minerva McGonagall entered the room, apologizing for her late arrival. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the Headmaster.

"What are you doing here, Albus? If you wanted our company you only needed to say so."

"This is a coincidence, Minerva, I assure you," Dumbledore explained quietly.

"I've no doubt," she whispered. "I take it your other plans went up in flames."

"Is it that obvious?" Dumbledore asked as he followed Minerva's eyes over to Severus.

"Yes," Minerva replied deliberately, "it rather is."

Severus Snape was asleep in his chair, his head lying face down on the table. Hooch had been trying to wake him gently for several minutes now, but he remained out cold.

Noticing Minerva's astonishment at seeing the normally formidable Snape so uninhibited, Rolanda commented, "The poor dear. Something is obviously bothering him. He's been drinking like a madman."

"I can't imagine what it might be," McGonagall retorted, shooting Dumbledore an incisive look. Dumbledore couldn't help but feel slightly awkward as she smiled at him knowingly.

As the appetizers made their way out, Babbling gave Snape a slap on the back which made him snap sharply at attention.

All the faculty were staring at Snape in morbid fascination. The man's face was positively green and he looked like he might vomit at any moment. His eyes, which he could barely keep open, were horribly bloodshot.

"It would be rather cruel to offer him some foie gras now, I take it?" Babbling said.

Severus reached a very unsteady hand into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small vial. With some difficulty, he managed to unscrew the cap which had a fine eyedropper on the end. He grunted something unintelligible, but apparently Rolanda Hooch who was nearest him understood and promptly poured him a glass of water. Gingerly, Snape managed to deliver a single drop of the strange colorless liquid into the glass before downing the water.

For a moment, the group felt sure he was going to heave the liquid back up, but within moments Snape's head snapped up revealing a healthy complexion and wide, bright eyes. "Did someone say foie gras?" he asked with enthusiasm.

The faculty stared at Snape in disbelief. Even Dumbledore himself was shocked by the sudden transformation, although he should have known Severus would be prepared for every contingency. It took several long moments before anyone spoke. But Babbling broke the stunned silence with an angry accusation.

"I thought you said you didn't have any hangover remedy!?"

"Correction. I said I didn't have any for _you_."

"But you have an entire vial of it. There must be enough for dozens and dozens of doses."

"Trust me…I'm going to need every single bit," Snape replied dryly.

Snape reached across the table for the house Riesling that had done him the most damage over the last two hours and started to pour himself a large glass. His potion, designed to be extremely potent and immediately effective, had left no trace of alcohol or its ill-effects in his system. He was totally refreshed and ready to start drinking again.

To the bewildered gazes on the others' faces, Snape snapped, "What are you all staring at?"

"You're going to drink more?" Vector asked in disbelief.

Watching as Severus took a healthy sip from his glass, Hooch volunteered, "Severus, perhaps you should slow down."

"Whatever for?" Snape replied irritably.

Dumbledore could not believe his eyes as he watched his lover take another large swig of the Riesling they had enjoyed on their first date. With a tight voice, he said somewhat angrily, "This is unacceptable."

Snape's eyes went straight to Dumbledore and he instinctively put down his glass. He realized then, with sudden clarity, how stupid and petty he was being. This wasn't Albus's fault after all.

"Albus, I…"

Sensing something of an apology about to leave Severus's mouth, Dumbledore put his hand up to stop him. Dumbledore was angry. Angry that he was actually planning on making Severus suffer through four days with the faculty in lieu of their romantic getaway just so he could spare himself the embarrassment of explaining his indiscretions.

"Severus, while you are still sober and in good sprits, might I ask you the favor of please going to our room and packing our things."

"Excuse me?" Snape asked in confusion.

"We will be leaving shortly."

"What?" several of the faculty asked simultaneously. "But why?"

"Because I've finally come to my senses and I plan to find someplace where I can do unmentionable things with Severus in peace and quiet."

Dumbledore nearly laughed when he saw that Severus's eyes were as wide as that of his faculty. "Severus, please just give me a few minutes to explain this whole embarrassing situation to my illustrious faculty and make some new arrangements for us. This time…alone, as promised."

"Really?" Snape asked dubiously. Strangely enough, Snape found that he was rather relieved by Albus's sudden candor – although he could do without the astonished gazes of his colleagues.

"Yes really," Dumbledore replied. "Someplace romantic where we can enjoy ourselves…without anymore interruptions."

"I believe you've said that before…"

"Oh but this time, my dear," Dumbledore said with a bright twinkle in his eyes, "I will not fail."

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**_Author's Note: _**Thanks for reading and reviewing.

This was the most enjoyable chapter to write. I love writing scenes of faculty mayhem. These characters are so much fun. The reason I wrote the vineyard in the first place was because I could so vividly picture Snape getting hammered once things spiraled completely out of control...or should I say, once things went awry.

Last chapter coming soon...Dumbledore's determined to get it right. Can he?

Please review.

Fyi: new chapter of Unexpected Grace is just up...


	6. The perfect finale

**Title: **The Best Laid Plans…  
**Author: **CocoaSnape  
**Disclaimer: **Alas, I do not own the HP universe; JK Rowling/Warner Bros does. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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**The Best Laid Plans…**  
by **CocoaSnape**

_..."Yes really," Dumbledore replied. "Someplace romantic where we can enjoy ourselves…without anymore interruptions."_

_"I believe you've said that before…"_

_"Oh but this time, my dear," Dumbledore said with a bright twinkle in his eyes, "I will not fail."_

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Severus Snape did not hurry in his packing. The last thing he wanted was to return to the dining room too early and become embroiled in Dumbledore's attempts to explain the myriad of complex deceptions of the preceding weeks. Knowing his colleagues, Severus thought, they'd gawk at him or even worse, ask him questions as well. The very idea sent chills of horror down his spine. Not willing to take any chances, Snape read for an hour and a half before packing up the room with a wave of his wand.

Much to Snape's consternation, Albus was not waiting for him when he made his way downstairs. Hearing voices in the dining room, Snape loitered in the villa's entrance hall, awkwardly waiting for Albus's to appear.

A moment later, Hooch exited the dining room.

"Don't tell me they're still grilling him in there," Snape said.

Hooch let out a chuckle. "The Headmaster left over an hour ago."

"What?"

"He explained everything quite succinctly and then said he had to leave to make some arrangements for the two of you elsewhere. This was supposed to be a private getaway, wasn't it, Severus?" Hooch asked sympathetically.

"Yes." Snape sighed, "Merlin, will this ever go right?"

"Well, at least, it explains your behavior," Hooch said. "I thought I was going to need to have a little talk with you when we got back to Hogwarts about moderation."

The corners of Snape's mouth quirked a bit. "Yes well…was that all he said then?"

Hooch paused a moment before continuing significantly, "He told us he was in love with you."

"What in the devil's name is he telling you that for?" Snape asked sharply in disbelief.

"_'Deeply in love.'_ Those were his words. And I presume he told us so we would know how very serious he is about you, Severus."

Snape was trying to look severe, but he knew that he was not quite carrying it off. Inside, he felt a little too much like a love-struck adolescent. And judging by the smile on Rolanda's face, he suspected that it showed.

A moment later, the pair spotted Dumbledore walking through the main doors, heading towards them.

Hooch leaned in, gave Snape a kiss on the cheek and whispered, "I'm so happy for you, Severus."

"Sorry for the delay," Dumbledore called as he approached.

"So where are we off to this time, Albus?"

"It's a surprise."

"Have an ounce of decency, why don't you!" Hooch exclaimed angrily, turning Albus's and Severus's attention to the clustered faculty, plastered against the dining room entrance, staring intently at them. "I'll get rid of them for you," she said.

"There's no need," Dumbledore replied. "We'll be gone in a moment." Dumbledore glanced around, picked up a glass on an adjacent table and said, "_Portus_."

Snape raised his eyebrows in surprise and remarked, "In a hurry I see."

Dumbledore smiled. "You have no idea," he said before taking Severus's hand in his and placing it on the glass.

Snape could hear the faculty whispering loudly behind him. He was just about to utter a biting remark about their rudeness when Albus leaned forward and kissed him. Nothing about this kiss could have been mistaken for a friendly one. It was deep, it was passionate…so much so that Severus was no longer conscious of the gaping stares being leveled at them or the exclamations of _'oh my!'_ in the background.

It was by far the smoothest port Severus had ever experienced. He was barely aware that they had left until he felt the gentle thud of the ground beneath his feet. They landed with their lips still locked.

When Albus pulled away, albeit hesitantly, he directed Severus's attention to the view in front of them. It was beautiful, Severus thought at once. Mountains in the distance, a blanket of forest to the left and before them a great lake with the sun just beginning its descent over it. For a long moment, Severus was lost in the view when suddenly, it registered.

Turning around, Snape saw the castle.

"There's no one here, Severus. Argus was left standing watch, and I sent him with Mrs. Norris to a cat spa. Filius is visiting his sister, Hagrid is in Paris, and everyone else is gossiping about us while imbibing entirely too much wine."

Snape was too stunned to speak.

"We have the whole castle to ourselves for at least one week, perhaps more."

This was exactly what Severus had wanted from the start, time alone with Albus. Overwhelmed by Albus's efforts to make him happy, a rush of guilt swept over him. Snape began, "Albus, I should apologize for my behavior over the last few days. Especially this evening. It was rather childish of me."

"No need," Albus replied before pulling Severus to him.

Snape pulled back slightly and continued with a smirk playing on the corners of his mouth, "That being said, I feel it necessary to point out that despite rumors of your omnipotence, Headmaster, I was right about this whole trip."

Dumbledore smiled. "I should think, _Professor Snape_, that the whole Andrew escapade would be proof enough of the falseness of that rumor." A pause. "But I see that I still have some ground to make up." With a whispered word, Dumbledore revealed a small table a few meters away from them, with a white linen tablecloth and two immaculate place settings. Near it was another table with about a dozen trays of food spelled with warming charms.

Answering Severus's unspoken question, Dumbledore explained, "That's our dinner from this evening and it includes some Alsatian favorites: foie gras, tarte flambée, coq au Riesling, terrine légère au Gewürztraminer, confit de canard, gratin de pommes au vin blanc d'Alsace, and choucroute garnie."

"From that list, I must presume you're starving, Albus."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Not at all. But I felt horribly about our rather unfortunate departure from Alsace. I wanted you to be able to try a little bit of everything, Severus. So I took the liberty of ordering everything off the menu. Including dessert," Dumbledore added with a twinkle.

Finding himself overwhelmed with Albus's thoughtfulness, Snape began, "That's so…"

"Sweet?" Dumbledore supplied helpfully.

"I was going to say crazy," Snape replied with a smirk, "but I suppose 'sweet' will do. So are we going to eat?"

"Not now. The food's for later," Dumbledore said, with a look that promised all sorts of things in between.

"Don't look so smug, Albus," Severus said playfully. "Given our luck, the faculty will all be so hung-over they'll return early."

"I very much doubt it."

"Oh?"

"Let's just say I may have…_suggested_…they take that extra week in Bordeaux as well."

Snape's eyes widened at Albus's meaning and he exclaimed in a shocked voice, "You _confounded_ them!?" A pause. "I knew you were brilliant."

From inside his robes, Dumbledore pulled out a perfectly chilled bottle of crémant d'Alsace, stoppered with a cage-shaped champagne cork, the bottle's neck wrapped in gold foil.

"You didn't have the inclination to try it before, Severus. And I didn't want you to feel deprived, so I bought the best vintage they had."

Dumbledore opened the bottle with practiced ease and poured just enough in his glass to taste. He took a small sip in assessment and said, "And I must say, it is divine," before placing a soft kiss on his lover's lips, giving Severus his first taste of the wine.

They drank the crémant in silence, savoring the view, and soon, Severus was wondering why Albus hadn't ushered him over to the table to share the dishes he had procured. Remembering Albus's comment that the food was for later, Severus asked, "If we're not eating now, Albus, then what—"

"Ah, I was beginning to think you'd never ask," Dumbledore replied with a twinkle.

A moment later, another whispered word from Dumbledore revealed a cabana just a few feet behind him, draped in white cloth. The bed inside opened up to a full view of the lake and the impending sunset.

"What is this?" Snape asked.

"It's your bed, of course."

"I know it's my bed, Albus. What is it doing here?"

"It is rather softer and more comfortable than the ground, Severus. And I intend to have my wicked way with you right here."

"What? Here? You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am," Dumbledore replied in a tone that made Severus flush with desire at the idea. "I have, after all, suffered _tremendously_," Dumbledore emphasized with mock seriousness, "over these past days."

"Oh really?" Snape asked playfully, a smirk touching his lips. "You have empirical evidence of that, do you?"

"As a matter of fact…" Albus replied with a touch of humor in his voice.

Severus smiled at Albus's meaning, but immediately sobered at the idea of getting undressed in the middle of Hogwarts' grounds.

"You may have taken care of the faculty, Albus, but who's to say we won't have unexpected visitors? The gates are just around the bend."

"Also taken care of, my dear," Dumbledore said as he stepped behind Severus and wrapped his arms around his lover. "I've asked the castle gates to keep everyone out unless I give them express permission to enter."

As Albus began to massage his arms and shoulders, Severus replied slyly, "I am beginning to see that there are definite advantages of having the Headmaster as a lover."

"Oh, you're just discovering them now, are you?" Albus murmured in feigned annoyance as he placed a series of soft kisses along Severus's neck.

"Mmm."

Dumbledore moved his fingers over Severus's nipples, teasing them through his shirt, delighting in each little moan his movements elicited. He silkily whispered against the shell of Severus's ear, "So…am I finally forgiven?"

"Ask me again…in a few hours," Severus growled darkly, as he pressed himself further back, rubbing his lower body against Albus's erection.

"Merlin Severus…" Albus moaned through his growing haze.

Incited by the gasps of pleasure coming from behind him, Snape spun around and caught Albus's mouth in a deep, fiery kiss, all while pushing Albus towards the cabana he had so conveniently arranged.

As they tumbled onto the bed, all pretense of languid love-making was abandoned – both men devouring the taste of the other, grinding and crushing their bodies together, their hands almost frantic with an unfulfilled hunger.

They set about tearing off the others' clothing, the urgency growing exponentially as each piece of fabric was removed, worshipping each bit of newly exposed flesh in turn. Impatience begot a muttered vanishing charm that took care of the rest; neither could hold back the sigh of contentment at the feeling of skin against skin.

Overcome with desire to feel every inch of Albus against him, Severus cupped his hand on the back of Albus's neck and pulled him into a heated kiss while thrusting his aching length against Albus's belly. The ensuing friction made Severus shiver with delight and cry out in demand for more.

Albus pulled away slightly and asked in a soft murmur, "What do you want, Severus?"

With eyes dark, almost rabid, with lust, Severus breathed heatedly, "You know what I want," his voice and words so self-assured, they were Albus's undoing.

Nothing more needed to be said. As though they had been together for years, Albus understood and heard the unspoken '_now_.' He turned Severus onto his side, kissing his back in a line moving upwards towards Severus's neck, while his hand drifted lower.

A whispered word and Severus felt Albus's fingers, stretching him, gently at first, but soon with the rough promise he craved. He clawed at the sheets, trying to say something, struggling to communicate the magnitude of his need in that moment, but instead whimpering through his desire, pressing his body back, writhing on Albus's fingers. When Albus finally entered him, Severus's whole body seemed to almost sigh with relief, relaxing into this welcome penetration, even as Albus gasped from the strain of not finishing right then and there.

Albus sucked in a deep breath and took the moment of stillness to pant a vehement '_I love you_' in Severus's ear before he wrapped his arms around Severus and made love to him. The passion of their newfound love was all too evident in their breathless moans and the sheer abandon of their frenzied movements. And yet, there was a strange sense of ease and comfort in their joining, a contentment that echoed an almost unparalleled intimacy between them.

When the sun finally touched the lake, their naked bodies were illuminated by the most glorious orange glow as they cried out together in ecstasy.

After taking several minutes to enjoy the satiated bliss, Severus opened his eyes and took in the sight of the sun's crest descending past the horizon.

"You realize," Severus whispered, "I won't ever be able to look at this sunset the same way again."

From behind him Albus murmured through still slightly labored breathing, "That was precisely my intention, my dear."

Severus smiled. How strange and out of place it was…the two of them lying there on his own bed in the middle of the grounds at dusk. Overhead, through the diaphanous drapes, he could just make out the form of the rising moon. Before him, the water stretched out in a palette of indigo, blue and lilac. Severus felt a slight breeze, cool off the water, but Albus's body was so close behind him that he only felt warm and relaxed. After so many ill-fated plans, after so many different cities and sights, what a strange place to end up this was. And yet, it was perfect. Albus had made it so.

"This is beautiful, Albus," Severus said.

"No place like home?" Albus asked softly.

Severus snuggled further back into Albus's cradling warmth, sighed, and said, "Exactly."

-

_- finis -_

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**_Author's Note: _**I was so happy to write and share this with you. Thank you for all your comments along the way.

I hope to now focus the majority of my energies on 'Unexpected Grace' and slowly on my snarry sequel to 'Light on the Dark Side of Me.' Hope you join me there.

I've learned several things while writing this story: I like writing the faculty, especially Hooch, I love writing ticked off Snape, and I adore writing 'randy' Albus. I hope you found this a satisfying ending. This is my first real attempt at ADSS smut...go easy on me. 5 points to you if you got the very subtle point I attempt (but likely fail) to make at the end...that Severus isn't thinking of Hogwarts when he answers, 'exactly.'

I _really_ can't wait to hear what you think of the ending...


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